Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
