Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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