You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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