No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
