I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my shit smells like andre
We left an ass print on the piano.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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