I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
