spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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