why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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