Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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