so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
