I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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