Whatcha textin bout Willis?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
