Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
