Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize