you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I intend to get homeless drunk
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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