He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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