Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
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His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
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I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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