its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
wanna go halves on a baby?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
