I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
