i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
