Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
