i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize