she woke up with a sticky ear
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
