3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
