Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
