I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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