Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
