I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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