there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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