So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize