I can't watch pbs sober anymore
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
