If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
