Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
