After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
