I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
