i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
