thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
