thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
