It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
