I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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