I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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