I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
