Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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