He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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