I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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