That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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