then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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