i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Come share oat with me in your robe
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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