There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
