I think my fart just growled at me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
In America we eat man semen.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
