I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
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I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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