Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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