i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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