but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
