I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
