hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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