Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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