Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
