Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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