Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
