I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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