make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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