exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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