she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
