The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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