My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
