No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
