I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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