i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
