i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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